permission to (not) be better!
Be Better!
Ugh. (I didn’t want you to even get a single line down before I showed my dismay for this phrase.)
I just recently was doing some “market research” and stumbled upon who I believe to be a wonderful woman who really, genuinely, wants to serve women. BUT her headline – literally – the banner at the top of her website was…
Do you want to be a better wife? Do you want to be a better mom? Do you want to be a better Christian?
And for $29 a month, she was going to help you do just that. And honestly, I don’t doubt it. Hear me when I say that this is not me bashing her or her ministry, but the bait she used.
Because we are bombarded with pressure (and “opportunity”) on all sides to be better at this and better at that. Skinnier. Healthier. More fashionable. Higher-performing.
Lordy, it’s endless. And I reject it.
You don’t have to be better. You don’t. What would happen if you just started with being yourself. Figuring out who you are before you start figuring out how to be better. How do you know what to improve if you haven’t stopped for a tiny moment to evaluate what’s going on with yo bad self, where you’re feeling extra stress or struggle, and where you’re headed?
When’s the last time you stopped down to do that? To really think…deep thoughts…about you. About God. About the woman you’re becoming?
Now’s the time, pretty lady. Let’s chat about 3 P’s that may just be what you need to refocus, take a deep breath, and carry on.
The P’s:
Position: Do you feel like you’re behind in life? Like, you totally thought you should’ve been a mother of 15 by now, or promoted to Partner, or done struggling with that stupid insecurity that rears its ugly head at the very worst times. If you’re unhappy with your position in this race of life, you’re likely going to start overworking this next P – your pace.
Pace: Is your pace of life feeling a little fast? How many times a day do you make promises based on when things “slow down?” (Gut punch.) Things are never going to slow down until you learn to work at God’s pace. His timing is perfect, His work within you is steady, and His plans for you are unfolding – right before your very eyes. So, take a quick minute to check in with God about your pacing, and ask Him to steady your heart.
Peace: Ohhhhh peace, you elusive friend. There are a million things trying to sabotage your peace right now, but let’s talk about one that is a guaranteed troublemaker. Competition and comparison. If you’re unhappy with your position, working on overdrive with your pace, then you’re likely comparing yourself to those around you – competing to “win” the race. Yuck. (And also, you’re not alone. We’re humans and we do these things, ya know?!) But what if you knew deep down, the truth that you aren’t in competition, even with yourself. Your race is your own. Your path is your own. God has special things in mind that only you can do set up along the way, so comparing your apples to someone else’s oranges is shenanigans. Comparing your beginning to someone else’s middle is shenanigans. Competing against other women you’ll never meet on social media is shenanigans.
Listen, my sweet and beautiful friend. You’re doing a great job. Stay the course. Stay YOUR course. And instead of falling for every promise that will make you “better,” spend your efforts and energy deepening your relationship with the One who created you perfectly and perfectly unique, and work together with Him on becoming the woman He created you to be.
Don’t focus on being better. Focus on being you, and the “better” will follow.
Cheering you on!
Lisa
P.S. Jen and I have this very conversation on this week’s episode of the Megaphone Podcast! Download, subscribe, share with a friend.